Defined, not bound, by sex
By Petlee Peter
In the new year, says Panthappillil Rajappan Rajesh, a Chennai-based professional dancer, he will become an entirely new person. That optimism is founded on a literal truth. In a matter of weeks, Rajesh will officially become a woman, P.R. Lakshya – a big step forward in the quest for his identity. Rajesh, who hails from Aluva, Kerala is a former student and tutor at the internationally acclaimed Kalakshetra cultural academy.
A new life
‘Call me Lakshya,’ she said with a smile – but firmly – when Ergo caught her in the middle of a bharatnatyam teaching session for Belgian students. ‘This is a change,’ she said, ‘that has given me a new life.’ Her train tickets (which she shows with a pride that is touching) read ‘Lakshya F 33′; she has even applied for a new passport, which should reach her in January.
For Lakshya – in Hindi the word means ‘goal’ – the mental agony regarding her gender started right from high school days. “I was always felt like a woman inside and I was literally living in hell without being able to show it for more than a decade. I even thought about suicide a couple of times. But my strong involvement in dance kept me going,” she said.
‘Call me Lakshya,’ she said with a smile – but firmly – when Ergo caught her in the middle of a bharatnatyam teaching session for Belgian students. ‘This is a change,’ she said, ‘that has given me a new life.’ Her train tickets (which she shows with a pride that is touching) read ‘Lakshya F 33′; she has even applied for a new passport, which should reach her in January.
For Lakshya – in Hindi the word means ‘goal’ – the mental agony regarding her gender started right from high school days. “I was always felt like a woman inside and I was literally living in hell without being able to show it for more than a decade. I even thought about suicide a couple of times. But my strong involvement in dance kept me going,” she said.
Respecting change
This April, Rajesh decided to act. “I came out at last and decided to change my body. Now people respect me as a woman and I enjoy that,” Lakshya said, adding that in Indian society, there was no meaning to living “in between”.
This April, Rajesh decided to act. “I came out at last and decided to change my body. Now people respect me as a woman and I enjoy that,” Lakshya said, adding that in Indian society, there was no meaning to living “in between”.
Sex change operations are slightly more common in India than they were a decade ago, when few had even heard of the procedure. Lakshya says that in her immediate family, only her mother proved supportive. “My friends and students were very compassionate,” she said.
Inspired by famous danseuse Narthaki Nataraj, Lakshya has set up her own dance school called Lakshya Performing Arts Academy; she hopes to spot talent in people like herself and help them gain acceptance in society.
Her life ambition
A recipient of the 2001-02 T. S. Parthasarathy Award for Excellence in Dancing, Lakshya choreographed an evening at the World Military Games at Hyderabad recently.
Lakshya has accepted several television offers that came her way. Her inner demons dispelled, Lakshya is glad to concentrate on the future. She is defined by her sex, but not bound by it. “Now,” she said, “I’d like to become a successful Kucchipudi artiste.”
Photo credit: S.S. Kumar
A recipient of the 2001-02 T. S. Parthasarathy Award for Excellence in Dancing, Lakshya choreographed an evening at the World Military Games at Hyderabad recently.
Lakshya has accepted several television offers that came her way. Her inner demons dispelled, Lakshya is glad to concentrate on the future. She is defined by her sex, but not bound by it. “Now,” she said, “I’d like to become a successful Kucchipudi artiste.”
Photo credit: S.S. Kumar
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