complicated love story

By: Chetan R Date: 2009-07-10 Place:Bangalore

Swathi and Sneha were men who became women in the hope of finding male lovers. They've now found each other and want to marry Two Bangalore men, convinced they were women, spent a fortune on sex change surgery. But neither found a husband. They now want to marry, and be Bangalore's first same-sex couple to be legally united. The recent court verdict legalised homosexuality, but it still doesn't allow same-sex marriage. Swathi (23) and Snehaprabha (25) didn't know each other when they were men. "I had always wanted to fall in love with a man," said Swathi, a man till three years ago. "But would that happen in our society?" After becoming a transsexual (one who has undergone a sex change), she fell in love with Sneha. Sneha, a man five years ago, had been similarly searching for a partner. "As we both sailed in the same boat, we started falling in love," said Swathi. That now makes them a lesbian (transsexual) couple. College change Swathi, who once dreamt of becoming a doctor, was a male till class 12. At 18, he decided to become a woman and spent over Rs 2 lakh on sex reassignment surgery. Similarly, Sneha underwent the operation five years ago. 'We live a painful life' You may now kiss the bride: Swathi and Sneha "We had to face a lot of humiliation when we changed our sex – even our families rejected us," recalled Swathi. "But we kept it secret till recently." Love happened three years ago while they worked as community mobilisers with an NGO called Samara. Hard life Each of them earns Rs 4,000 a month from Samara. They also earn a bit from prostitution. Besides economic stability, they are also struggling on the personal front since they can't marry legally. "We live a painful life," said Swathi. "We don't earn enough as we aren't treated like other women." Swathi and Sneha don't get good job offers. "That's why we have no choice but to be in the sex trade. If we were treated like normal women, we wouldn't be in that profession," Swathi explained. Activists fighting for the sexual minorities are coming forward to help the couple. "They deserve equal rights," said Akkaipad-mashali, an activist. "Though the Delhi High Court decision is welcome, we have a long way to go." He said he would take up their case as "there are hundreds of Swathis and Snehas fighting for their rights to marry and adopt children." The agony of bending gender Transsexuals go through tremendous psychological pressure both before and after their sex change, say doctors. "They are under pressure as they feel trapped in a body they don't want," said Dr Padmini Prasad, a leading Bangalore sexologist. "Hence, there are procedures to be followed before they undergo surgery. Psychiatric assessment is one of them." They are also tested for the new gender role. "In a few cases like this, they are in conflict both before and after the change," said Padmini.